The party pooper

Alright, let's get this out of the way, right off the bat: I am not a party person. I'm not saying that I am asocial or lack communication skills (they're defective, that's all), but I just don't get what's so great about night clubs and such. People tend to tell me I'm weird for not liking huge parties, as if I hate having fun or something, which is not true. I'm going to try to explain my point of view here, so certain people will get off my case already.

1. You get to meet new people
Yes, and the best place to do so is certainly in a crowded night club, where the majority is drunk, drugged or both, and you can't understand a word of what they're saying due to the loud music. Also, I am quite fond of my personal space, and having some fat, shirtless raver rub his sweaty belly against my neck for a whole evening is aggravating, to say the least. And yes, I am that short. Last time someone convinced me to go to a club, someone mistook me for a table and put her glass on top of my head.

2. Live music is great
Yes, but this is no concert: what you have here is a DJ playing records; pretty much like it's done on the radio. Live performances are fantastic, but you are talking about the equivalent of a very loud jukebox. Listening to songs being distorted due to the speakers not being able to produce such a loud volume is something I can do in the comfort of my home, thank you very much. I can even chose songs I actually like!

3. You just don't know how to have fun
No, my concept of fun is just different. I do enjoy music, like a live concert on a open field, where there is enough space to not have your face shoved into someone's armpit. I do like meeting new people, as long as I get the time to know them. I like do hanging out with friends and have a good time, but small spaces with too many people in it and loud music that doesn't suit my tastes are just not that enjoyable to me.

Well, I'm glad I got that off my chest. I'm also glad I don't have that many readers, otherwise my comments section would be filled with bile and generally indecent names aimed towards my person. But I'm not saying my forms of leisure are superior: it's just that I hate crowded places. And haters gonna hate.

 

Bloody bothersome buggers

It would seem that I'm the only person in all of the land to be plagued by mosquitoes, even though it has been Autumn for a while and the temperature is starting to drop like the stocks. Some sadistic deity must be trying to punish me in an ironic way, because there is no single creature in the universe I despise more than the Culex Pipien (your common blood-sucking variety of mosquitoes).

I could be considered an animal person. I have a cat and a dog, and insects don't really bug or frighten me. When a bee or a wasp wanders inside the house, I just catch it with a cup and release it back into the wild.

But mosquitoes are another thing. These creatures are the trolls of the animal kingdom. They serve no purpose in nature, and exist only to feast on your blood and spread disease. You may close your windows and stay in the dark on hot summer nights, but despite your best efforts they will find a way to get inside, and they will do their darnedest best to deprive you of your precious sleep. Your room may be as big as a mini-mall, but they will invariably try to get in one place, and one place only: your inner ear.

I swear, it's as if they're trying to buzz Eduard Khil's 
"I am glad to finally be back home" in my cochlea

Once a mosquito has announced its presence, there are a few ways in which you can retaliate.  Waving one's arm(s) around spasmodically to fend it off is a natural reaction, but you know the pest will be back to wake you up just as soon as you are falling asleep. Otherwise, you can pretend to not have heard it, making an easy meal of yourself. Others prefer to turn the lights on and hunt down the little nuisance, only for it to vanish into thin air.

Occasionally, you are able to spot the flying leech. There you are, poised with your deadly slipper in your hand. You strike, like a barbarian warrior felling some virgin-stealing monster (well, at least I do; those pests make me go berserk), only for the beast to nimbly dodge the attack. But once in a blue moon, your instrument of death strikes true. For an instant, you are filled with relief and joy; until you see the enormous splatter of blood left behind on the wall, a grim reminder of this grandiose battle.

So, the moral of the story is: the mosquito always wins.

A Parade Parody

Big demonstration, here at the Capital City. People from all over the continent, from many unions, came to protest against savings made by Them ("the Bigwigs", "the Man"). I can't be more specific, because it was not really divulged which sectors were affected, neither what exactly They were up to.

But what I do know, is that it was huge. The number "100.000" was spread around, although authorities estimate the number of protesters to be considerably lower (as if they would ever say otherwise). Seeing such numbers of people marching down the main street would have been considered intimidating in other ages, but it seems that this one was more of a hippie parade than an angry mob with torches and pitchforks at the ready.

For starters, most people do not even know what the deal is. I've asked around why so many people are gathering here, and all I get are shrugs. "Something about money" was the closest thing I got to an answer. In the past, people were mad at high taxes, the oppression of the common populace and whatnot, but nowadays it seems everyone just wanted to tag along because it sounded like a fun trip.

Secondly, there was a jolly good atmosphere. People's money is being taken away from them (in some vague manner), but no-one seems to be angry. People were singing, flags were fluttering around, and live music was played. It was somewhere between a Carnival parade in Rio de Janeiro and a group of drunken football enthusiasts on a Saturday night right after a won match.

The last comparison, I think, is due to the fact that many of the protesters took this as a chance for a city-trip, especially the foreign participants. You can't just come here without trying a local brew, now can you? And the restaurant street is right around the corner, so why not?...

Perhaps it was for the best. Protesters who have had a drink and a good meal are happy protesters (?!), who won't set any governmental buildings on fire. They made a day out of it, and went home satisfied (I hope). It's just a shame that those 100.000 jolly demonstrators needed to take the train, like me and thousands of others who wanted to get home after a long day...